I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
