im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
