once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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