OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
True strength comes from lack of pants
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
