It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
