he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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