were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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