I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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