How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
