i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
