She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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