Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
