I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
