I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
