Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
