Kareoke will never be a sober sport
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
