Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
