I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
