Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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