no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
