I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
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