i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
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