She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
