i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
is this the sara with the beer cane?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
