im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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