I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
