my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
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