the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
