you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize