if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
