Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
