I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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