We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
