piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
