I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
time to smoke my breakfast
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
