oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
