Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
