New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
