another moral hangover. fuck.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
