I wannas sexs uuuuu
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
