When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
