Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Randomize