Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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