mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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