i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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