my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
My bed smells like the plague
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
