Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
