Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
