Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
