dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Randomize
