I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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