i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize