last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
