Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
