How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
