Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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