you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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