hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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