Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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