so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
