i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
